The dreaded 2WW

Well here I am....back in the dreaded 2WW. I've had a totally different mindset this time around. Although I do desperately want to have a child, I don't feel like it's going to happen this month. I had my hopes up so high last month and was devastated. Let's face it, there are women who have tried much harder and much longer than I ever have. It's possible it will take us just as long. And...did I really expect to hit it out of the ballpark on the first go around?

I think maybe the perfectionist in me did. So far, there have been very few things that I haven't been able to accomplish with some hard work and elbow grease. This just isn't going to be one of those things--and it drives me crazy.

I haven't given up all hope, but my hope doesn't hang on this month. I still have fantasies about being a mom. I still dream about having a little one at home that we can care for. I know it will change our lives--but in a good way.:)

In the meantime, I have been learning a lot about how much babies cost to have at home so that we can start preparing. I've looked into disability insurance in case I have to go on bedrest. I've researched the cost of injectables so that I can save money if we ever have to go that route. Man, I hope not though because they cost more than my mortgage!!!

I know for a fact that I O'd today. I had a lot of right sided cramping that led to a burning in my lower back. We've tried to catch the eggie...but who knows? I'm not going to test this month until AFTER I miss my period (if that happens). There is no reason to waste a perfectly good HPT.

More later. No obsessing this time around!!